There's a point in a friendship when you think you really know someone, that they can no longer surprise you, that the bounds of their creativity are established and you've got them figured out. Then you invite them on to a podcast and without warning they come out with the weirdest attempt at a solution since the Saxons tried using cow dung for disinfecting wounds.
Belt up. Alan has a surprise for you.

Join budding Greek market seller Mike and Japuno champion Jamie in this weeks puzzle to escape a mysterious underground study.
How many knobs can Mike twiddle?
What happened to Margery's Flowers?
How good is Jamie's maths?
While a picture may paint a thousand words and four pictures faint a fair few more - why stare at an inanimate object when you can listen to The Infinite Escape Room!?

Join Ben and Jon as they find themselves trapped in Mike's Library of Alexandria...with a barbarian horde on the horizon!
Listener discretion is advised, as this episode features some truly, truly awful accents, and truly truly truly poorly 'researched' history.
If you want to play along at home, you might find the following obscene papyrus useful:
 
'Minus the Minotaur
SEXENFELCHIDES HELD THE MINOTAUR. ARSE KISSING ENVELOPED THEIR HORNS A LONG INTENSE AGE. THE MINOTAUR SUCKED HOOF AND THE MINOTAUR NEVER DOUBTED. THE MINOTAUR OBLIGED HIS GARGLE OBLIGATIONS DREAMILY. ‘MORE OVERT RAVISHING!’ EXTEMPORISED THE MINOTAUR.'

aka Escape the TIER Backrooms
This week, Ben and Aled are guided by a rather sinister Clippy to get meta and reboot the universe.
MARVEL as Aled tries to destroy your livers with the Red Herring drinking game!
RECOIL as Ben extols the virtues of Ribena with milk!
SYMPATHISE with Jamie's withering patience as Aled tries to brute force a 5-letter word lock by naming every object he sees!
If you're keen to understand some of the in-jokes and want even more banter, consider joining our Patreon for full, unedited episodes, episode scripts and more!
And as always, please reach out to us on Facebook, Twitter and now on Discord (exclusive to our fabulous Patreons!)

If you're sat at a computer, take a look at your hands. There they are, resting upon the keyboard, poised, waiting for their chance to give your next whim life. They know what they're doing, those hands. Don't they? Close your eyes, try and type something. How well do you actually know your keyboard?
One thing is certain. You know it much better than these clowns.

After the Infinite Escape Room was powered off, join Jamie and Tony as they walk in circles in the dark. Cries of "Marco" "Polo" ring out into the room.
 
Listen to them warm up a crowd
Hark as they fumble with spinning rust
And take note for the elusive Fray Bentos Pie.
 
It's all kicking off in this week's episode of: The Infinite Escape Room!

It's been really, really hot in the UK recently.
This episode happened. It's a good one.
Join the Ben and the Jamie.
They escape Mike's hot little location.
At one point a man sweats out his guts. Here's what it looks like:
Send 99p flakes.

aka escape the Upside Down trailer
 
This episode is brought to you by our wonderful Patreons Jade Shaw, Tonje Beate Halvorsen and Maggie B. Thank you!
 
This episode Jamie is joined by puzzlers extraordinaire David Spira and Peih-Gee Law from Room Escape Artist / Reality Escape Pod / Reality Escape Convention.
 
Join David and Peih-Gee as they puzzle their way through a trailer park trailer that's definitely looking a bit ... Stranger. Don't at me, Duffer Brothers.
 
Cue a time-travelling apple, a cursed Elmo doll and the newest hit event coming soon to all escape rooms near you - The Hunt For The Hidden Bed Cheese.
 
You can also listen to the playlist in the episode on Spotify. It's pretty cool.
 
I created the creepy Elmo doll using an Elmo AI voice generator, which is pretty terrifying.
 
PS This is my game that David mentioned during the episode. I'm not normally one to plug it here but when RoomEscapeArtist says it, who am I to argue?
 
If you want to get a hold of these episodes before the general public and get extra Discord perks, consider supporting the podcast on Patreon. You can also whisper sweet nothings to us over on Facebook and Twitter.